Evil Dictators and Wild Animals

Have you ever noticed that evil dictators live forever and hard working leaders die too young? If you want a clear example look at President Obama, it looks as if he's aged twenty years in the past four years.

That picture is from an article comparing other presidents. Why has he aged so much? Whatever your political ideology, you have to agree that these past four years have been some of the worst in recent memory, and it shows on the president's face. 

Now think about people like Kim Jong-Il, Fidel Castro and Robert Mugabe, just to name a few. All these men are brutal dictators that have been in power for years without it affecting their health. Granted, Castro and Kim are no longer in power, but look at how long they lived and how well their health was. I have a  theory as to why this is.*

I used to volunteer at the San Francisco Zoo when I was younger. Whenever someone asked you what the lifespan for a particular animal was, you had to give them two answers: in the wild and in captivity. Most people know that animals in captivity live longer than their wild brethren. The same principle that keeps animals in captivity alive keeps brutal dictators healthy. 

Kim lives a life of opulence while his people starve to death. He eats like king and lives like a prince. He is pampered beyond compare but unlike a real leader, he does not have to worry about political opposition or even a revolution. He lives the life of a panda in captivity.

Compare that to Obama's life in "the wild." No matter what choice he makes, someone is going to get mad and will want him out of office. Wether it be attacks from republicans or uncooperativeness from democrats, Obama's job is never done. He's a zebra in the wild, ever vigilant for the next threat.

* My wife was the originator of the theory that dictators don't age as fast because they don't have the stress of trying to please the people.

Public Officials

It has been a while since I last updated my blog, but I hope to write more often and hopefully increase the number of people that read it. Thanks for reading.

Over the past two weeks I have read two stories that to me, appear connected. About a month ago a California wildlife official found himself in the middle of a controversy. Daniel Richards is the president of the California Fish and Game Commission. His job it is to regulate and protect California's living natural resources like fish, game, plants, and habitats. To make a long story short, Richards went on a hunting trip in Idaho to hunt a mountain lion. Hunting mountain lions is legal in Idaho, but illegal in California. Here is a news article if you want more details. Some are claiming that Richards should be removed because he "thumbed his nose" at California law by traveling to another state to do something that is illegal in  the state he helps regulate. My two cents is that he did something very stupid, but not terrible enough to remove him from office.

Californians frequently travel to Las Vegas to do many things they cannot do in their home state. But this comparison is not entirely fair. Richards is a public official, and that means he is subject to more scrutiny than a private citizen. To make a drastic comparison, if a the attorney general of California went to Amsterdam specifically so he could smoke marijuana, many would call for his resignation. I understand this. While I do not agree with the lynch mob asking for Richards' head, I do understand why they are upset.

So, this brings me to another, possibly unrelated matter. Last month while in Egypt, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg stated, “I would not look to the United States Constitution if I were drafting a constitution in the year 2012.” I am not sure if this is just me, but I was thoroughly disappointed by her statement. Here we have a justice of the highest court in the land, a court whose job it is to interpret the constitution, giving it the thumbs down. I can understand that she may not entirely agree with the document, or feel that the constitution may not suit the specific needs of Egypt, but she could have said that the Egyptians should incorporate language from other constitutions. If Richards is derelict in his duty by hunting a mountain lion, then so is Ginsburg for her statement on the constitution. Am I crazy? I would really love to hear other's opinions on this.

Parking Lot Peddlers

This story is from my younger days (around 7 years old). Most of you don't know, but I grew up in Oakland, CA on East 14th Street which was a mostly Hispanic neighborhood. I have great memories of growing up there. It isn't necessarily the best neighborhood, but it was home for a time. Anyone who has grown up in "the ghetto" has a good idea of what it was like growing up in Oakland.


One day, my family and I were out driving. There were always "sidewalk salesmen" on almost every corner. My family had bought many items from various sidewalk salesmen throughout the years (my favorite item was a Mickey Mouse doll that read books to me). On this trip we pulled over onto some parking lot (I think it was a Jack-in-the-Box). These two guys were selling various electronic equipment. When we arrived they were in the middle of selling an item to another "customer." My father (my biological father, Albert, not the dad I now have) was waiting for them to finish with this customer. I don't remember hearing what they said. As a kid most adult conversation was background noise and this incident was no different. I do, however, remember that one of these two "salesmen" snatched the money out of their prospective customer's hands. As the customer was negotiating and counting his money one of these guys just snatched the money right out the guys hands. It quickly escalated to the point where there was almost a fight. The second sales man convinced the "snatching salesman" to give back the money. Although there was no real incident, this man's behavior was a harbinger of what was to come. 


Finally the time came for Albert to talk to the salesmen. I don't remember the conversation but I do remember that Albert had his eye on a Sony TV. Again, I don't remember the price, but it must have been far below the market price, otherwise Albert would not have been interested. After some haggling Albert finally came to an agreement with these salesmen. I remember the TV was great for the time (around 1989-1990). It was black and was at least 24 inches wide, not to mention it was a Sony! After some trouble loading the heavy TV onto our car, we made our way back home to try it out.


I remember Albert was really exited. We lived in a second floor apartment so there was some trouble getting the TV upstairs. Finally, the TV was in our apartment! Albert struggled to get it onto a table and plug it in but to his frustration the Tv would not turn on. It was plugged in and should at the very least have been displaying the expected black and white static. As Albert tried to troubleshoot the TV he noticed something strange about the Sony logo on the front of the TV. He looked at it and, picked at it. To his ire he realized that the Sony log was just a piece of paper cut out from some magazine advertising Sony! As he removed the strategically placed misnomer he revealed the true identity of our illegitimate friend: Emerson.


This is the first memory I have of the brand "Emerson."  As you might imagine, Albert was furious. I remember him yelling about the fact that it was not a real Sony, and that he was going to go back and get his money from these scammers. Having discovered its true identity, Albert continued to probe the Emerson. Still unable to figure out why it wasn't working he realized the TV was two parts jerry-rigged into one solid TV. He pulled the two halves apart to discover the most egregious deception: The TV was full of bricks! This was the icing on the cake. Albert stormed out of the apartment to track down these evil salesmen. He quickly returned to the apartment, reporting that the scammers were gone. I imagine Albert just threw out the TV shell. After that, I think he was a little wiser when it came to dealing with the sidewalk salesmen. Let this be a lesson to all of you looking for an easy bargain. Sometimes you get exactly what you pay for. 

My Near Death

I lived in Twentynine Palms, CA for four years. Directly opposite the base (to the south) is Joshua Tree National Forest. According to the MBTI I am more introverted than extroverted, although I switch back and forth between the two frequently.  I guess it was my introverted personality type that led me to go to Joshua Tree to escape the world. Whenever I needed to recharge my batteries or I needed some me time, I would head to Joshua Tree. Little did I know, I would almost lose my life in pursuing solitude.

I had had a bad day at work. The biggest problem I had that day was that I had been assigned poor marks on my personnel review by my supervisor. First, I did not agree with her assessment of my job performance. Second, this poor review had the potential to hurt my promotions. I was furious (on a side note, my reviews before and after this supervisor were all average, or above average. I think it goes to show that her assessment of me was not fair.) When I got home from work that day I decided that I needed to get away from everything. I decided I was going to go to Joshua Tree. I Was so angry and so eager to escape that as soon as I got home I changed my clothes and drove straight to Joshua Tree. I couldn't have spent more than five minutes home before I was back out and heading to Joshua Tree. In my haste to "get away" I failed to make the most basic preparations for my desert trip. I was wearing regular clothes, did't bring any extra water, and I didn't tell anyone where I was going. Being unprepared was going to cost me.

I sped to Joshua Tree and choose an area called "Jumbo Rocks." I had been here before and it looked as good a place as any to escape the world. I parked my car and decided to leave my cellphone in the car (another mistake). Last thing I wanted was to have my private time interrupted by the world I was trying to escape. I set off climbing the rocks. It was great. The focus and exertion that the climbing the rocks required allowed me to forget about everything else. All the troubles in the world faded away; all that mattered was me and the rocks. I finally made it to the top of a large rock formation. I sat there tired and satisfied. I had a small water bottle that I drank out of as I stared into the desert abyss. Then I realized how dark it was. In all my climbing I had failed to keep track of the time (another mistake). It was past nautical twilight and into astronomical twilight. I was no longer able to gauge distance and seeing hos high on the rocks was also difficult. I didn't think anything of it. I did realize that I had to get back to my car.

As I made my way down the large rock I realized that I did not recognize where I was. I could not see the path I took up the rock nor the path back to my car. I was a little nervous, but I decided would go in a few different directions to see if anything looked familiar. Nothing did. I finally came to the inevitable conclusion that I was lost. It was completely dark by now, I was not going to get out of this situation by backtracking my steps. I had to find any way to get out of the rocks. I looked around me and all I could see was more rocks. I couldn't see the desert, my car, or other people. I was completely surrounded by the rocks, except for a tiny section of sand I could see between two rocks. I figured this was my best chance at getting out. At least if I kept going towards the sand I would eventually reach the desert.

That patch of sand became my north star. I just kept walking in that direction until I came to the edge of a drop-off. There was an almost perfectly round boulder there. I tried to get to the edge of the boulder to see how far down the drop was, but because it was round I had to be careful not to slide down the boulder. I felt like I couldn't turn back then. I had set a course and I was determined to see it through. I decided that I would lay on my belly, feet facing the edge of the round boulder and I would slide down (looking back on this, I think this is an absolutely idiotic thing to do). I started to slide down the rock really slowly. I kept moving my feet in the hopes that they would find a ledge or another rock that I could stand on. I kept sliding down. I was getting to the point here I could feel my body was about to slide down the rock uncontrollably. Just then I felt a ledge! I allowed my body slide down the rock and I was firmly on a ledge. I turned around, and to my dismay the ledge was only big enough for my two feet. I couldn't even sit on ledge if I wanted to. Not only that, but in front of the ledge was a ten to fifteen foot drop to the next boulder. On either side of that boulder were chasms that I couldn't even see where they ended. If I tried to jump, assuming I landed safely from a fifteen-foot fall, I would have to make sure that I did not roll left or right, or I would end up falling down the chasms. I decided it was too risky. I decided to climb back up the rock I had slid down. The problem was that the face of the rock was too smooth. I couldn't get up more than two feet before I sid back down to the ledge. Going back was not an option, I was going to have to jump.

I turned and faced my adversary: the drop-off. Most boys have a pretty good sense of what they can and cannot jump. This comes from many failed attempts to fly by jumping of platforms of various heights. Every kid has the one jump that let them know what their limitation was, either by knocking the wind out of them, getting a bad scrape, or breaking a bone. As I gathered all my childhood experience as a daredevil, every fiber in body said, "you can't make this jump." Every time I leaned forward to jump, some self-preservation reflex kicked in and made me pull back to the safety of the ledge. Could I stay on this ledge all night? Would anyone even notice that I was gone? I didn't think I could spend the night on the ledge, it was barely large enough for me to stand, much less sit or lie down. If I did spend the night it would have to be standing. Then I realized that this was the start of the weekend and I had not told anyone where I was going (I am going to stop pointing these out, but this was another mistake). It wasn't uncommon for me to just disappear for the weekend without notifying anyone. The soonest they would suspect something was wrong would be Monday. Again, I came to the conclusion that I had to jump.

I took a deep breath, I aimed,  and I jumped. It felt as if I had jumped off of Mt. Everest. I kept falling and falling. Suddenly I hit the ground with a heavy thud! I did not move for fear of falling into the chasms next to this rock, assuming I had made it to the rock. I looked around and it appeared that I was alright. My ankle hurt a bit, but it was nothing I hadn't felt before as kid, I would just have to walk-off the pain. As I surveyed my surroundings, I realized I had made it! I was on the large bouder I had aimed for. I hadn't fallen down either of the chasms and I seemed to be in one piece. I mustered my strength with a new found resolve. I was going to make it out of this. I stood up and was about to take a step, when I felt an excruciatingly sharp pain in my right ankle. It was strong that my reflex was to take the weight off of my bad ankle. I fell bak to the ground. The pain I felt was different than any pain I had ever felt. I knew something was wrong. I pulled up my pant leg, pulled down my sock and what I saw terrified me. My ankle was swollen, not too bad, but enough and it was slightly purple. I concluded I must have broken my ankle. Every time I tried to stand on my leg I felt the pain and I could not walk.

I had to crawl my way out. I started crawling back towards the sand patch. My pace was slow, but I was making progress. I kept crawling until I reached another edge. I looked over the edge and it wasn't very high, maybe ten feet at most. With my bad ankle though, it might as well have been the Grand Canyon. I noticed that there was a crevice that ran the hight of the ledge I had to climb down. I guessed that I could wedge myself in the crevice and wiggle my way down instead of jumping or climbing down. It worked. I was able to wiggle my way down without serious stressing my ankle. I kept crawling. Then I came to another edge. The good news was that it was really small. Had I not broken my ankle I could have jumped it with ease. Not only that, but once I got down this edge I had a clear passage to the desert. The excitement of ending this whole orderal prompted me to simply jump the edge. I just wanted this to be over. I jumped and landed hard on the ground. The same sharp pain shot out of my ankle. I am pretty sure I had further damaged my ankle with that jump. But the good news is it was over!

I hopped to the sand. I've never been so glad to feel sand under my foot. Now I had to find my car. I started hopping towards where I guessed my car would be and to my delight I found it. When I got to my car I checked my ankle again. It was so swollen that it was no longer able to fit in my shoe. I took my shoe and sock off. My foot was extremely swollen. The swelling was focused on my ankle but had spread to the rest of my foot. There were some areas that were a dark purple while others were normal. I decided to drive myself to the hospital. If you want to experience the difficulty I had driving myself to the hospital, try driving your car (a manual transmission with a clutch) with just your left foot. Fortunately I made it to the hospital for treatment.

In the end I had a posterior tibial fracture. It was very small. On the X-ray it looked like a piece of my bone had splintered of the tibia. I was in crutches for several weeks, but I made a full recovery. This experience ended up being great for me. Aside from the terrible pain and stress I realized what a determined mind can accomplish. I remained calm in a crisis situation, although I could have made better choices, I ended up finding a solution to my problem. The most important thing I got from this experience was to always be prepared. Many small mistakes had combined to create a perfect storm that could have ended in my death. I assumed too much about my capabilities. I didn't think I would need lots of water, I did not think i would be in the park late into the night. I did not carry even a basic first aid kit, and lastly I did not bring any method of communicating if I found myself in a crisis situation. I still enjoy the outdoors, and Joshua Tree has earned itself a special place in my heart. I no longer take careless chances and assume best case scenarios. I hope my ordeal can be a lesson to you.

The Ambush

So, this story takes place outdoors, on a camping trip. Some of the names have been changed to protect the innocent. Nevermind, the names have been changed, but there are no innocent. A large group of us were camping, and this kind of camping was the best kind. We were camping at a well developed campsite and had hired a camping company to set up camp, prepare meals, and clean up after us. It had everything that makes camping great: tents, campfires, and s'mores; but with things you wish you could have while you are camping: full hot meals and daily showers. So, in reality it wasn't "camping" camping, but it was still fun. Back to the story, so three of us decided that it would be really fun if we played a prank on our fellow campers. Two of us would encourage and acompany some people to go on a short hike while the third one hid in the bushes and set up an ambush for the group. When the time was right, the "ambusher" would jump out scare the life out of everyone. It was brilliant.

I volunteered to be the "ambusher" (anyone who knows me knows that I will not pass up a chance to scare someone) while my other two friends, let's call them Joe and Brandon, led the sheep to the slaughterhouse (mwhaaa-haaaa-haaa!) We agreed on a tentative route for the hikers and I told Joe and Brandon that I would make animal sounds and throw rocks near the group in the hopes that it would keep the hikers on edge. We were so excited. Joe and Brandon walked around asking, "does anyone want to go on a hike?" Once Joe and Brandon had a large enough group they started heading out on the hike. By this time the sun had started to set. The sun was already bellow the horizon, but there was still some lingering sunlight.

The group started out on their hike. I waited about five minutes and then ran down the trail. It was pretty easy to find the group. They were talking loudly and were wearing such a mix of colors that they stood out clearly from the surrounding green and brown. I maintained a distance of about 25 yards, close enough to know what was going on, but not close enough to be spotted. What I heard was a lot of complaining about wanting to go back and that it was starting to get dark. I had to set the stage for my ambush. I started throwing rocks ahead of the group and making random sounds. I could hear the hikers asking, "Did you hear that?" I kept throwing rocks and making sounds to create a tense atmosphere. At one point I realized that the group was going to turn around and head back to camp. I sprinted down the path back towards the camp. I saw an opening in some bushes next to the path. I decided that this is where I would pounce. I knelt down and waited for my unsuspecting victims.

By now it had gotten dark. I was almost certain no one would be able to see me. I could hear the group approaching my position. I was tense and excited. So much work and planning had gone into this and if I could pull this off, it would be awesome! The group was almost on top of me, it was now or never.  I jumped out onto the path, let out a roar, and waved my hands in the air. I could tell I startled some of the group, but there was one individual who, in their attempt to flee, had fallen on their back. It was Joe! No one else in the group was as scared as Joe. I asked if I had scared anyone and they informed that they had figured out that my "animal noises" were not from animals, but from a person. They had been expecting something. I approached Joe and asked him why he had been so frightened. He, of all people, should not have been scared, he knew I was going to jump out at some point. He explained that from the moment the group started on the hike he had been expecting me to scare them. As the hike continued and I still hadn't jumped out, Joe began to get nervous. The longer I waited to jump the more he got anxious. He said the suspense had been killing him. He knew I was going to pounce, but he didn't know when. In Joe's mind, every little sound he heard was potentialy me springing my trap. It must have been one of the worst hikes ever for Joe.

I hope you enjoyed the story. There will be more stories about Joe in the near future.

Petition To End Petitioners

I am not sure if I have just been gone from California for too long, or if I just never realized that this was going on, but every time I go to Wal-Mart, the grocery store, or the dollar store I have encountered at least one person petitioning me to save the endangered South American dung beetle (I am being sarcastic, I am not sure if the South American Dung Beetle is endangered or even if there is such a creature) or to protect the people's right to get stoned. All I want to do is go to the store, buy the items I need, and go home. Is that too much to ask for? In California, apparently it is.

One important lesson I have learned is that avoiding eye contact with someone is a simple ay of saying, "I don't want to interact with you." On my way out of the Wal-Mart I realized that there were petitioners outside. Before the automated doors opened I decided that I would deter them by avoiding eye contact and taking the long way around a pillar. I went around the large pillar in the hope that it would hide me from the evil petitioner. I apparently was not as slick as I thought I was. Before I even made my way around the pillar the petitioner yelled, "Hey, guy in the green shirt!" "Dangit!" I thought to myself because I was wearing a green shirt. I said, "No!" He asked, "Do you want to save the tigers that live in the jungle?" "No!" I responded. I felt a little bad. I really would like to save the tigers that live in the jungle, but I did not want to talk to this petitioner. Undeterred by my one word responses, or the fact that I had not made eye contact with him, this little bastard says, "C'mon, I want to sign you up for Greenpeace." Can you guess what I said to him? "No!"

I am not sure why this guy in particular irritated me so much, but I made it to my car and I thought to myself, "I wish I could stopt these guys from petitioning people." Then it dawned on me, I could start a petition to stop the petitioners! Genius! I have it all thought out. As people are walking out of their favorite retail store I would annoyingly approach them and yell, "I am annoying you by asking you to fill out this petition? Then please sign my petition to end petitioners!" I can't imagine why someone wouldn't want to sign my petition. The whole situation was more ironic than I am accustomed to and I chuckled as I drove out of the parking lot. Fight fire with fire!

Introduction

Recently a friend of mine started blogging (I know, we are joining late in the game, but better late than never) and it inspired me to follow suit. I am not really sure what this blog will be about, but I hope you will find the posts to be interesting, stimulating and funny.

So, a little about me. I am a scientist at heart, I approach situations with a skeptical mind and try to base my decisions on empirical data. I try to remove as much emotion and sentiment as possible and I strive to be objective. I love science, so hopefully my science posts will be interesting and not too geeky (no promises though). I also love history, current events, the outdoors, animals, and so much more. I hope to provide you eclectic collection of posts, but feel free to comment, make requests, and criticize.Tell me which posts you love, and which you hate.

So what's up with the name "Daily Mugwumpery?" The official definition of a "mugwump" from Merriam-Webster is, "a person who is independent (as in politics) or who remains undecided or neutral." I consider myself a centrist, both politically and practically. This means that my ideas do not necessarily follow standard political ideologies and that in my daily life I try to see things from all perspective. This does not mean that I flip-flop or change ideas constantly. Basically, it means that I am not a cookie-cutter person who is easily classified. I was introduced to the word "mugwump" by my lovely wife. She said she had a word she wanted to share with me and I could not believe that it was a real word. When I heard the word i though, "that's an awesome word, I gotta put it in my pocket so I can use it later." Unfortunately I never had the chance to use it conversation (that was probably for the best) but when I needed a name for my blog, I knew this was my chance. Voila, it is the name of my blog.

Since there is nothing easier to find than sins among humans, it is almost guaranteed I will offend someone, or voice an idea that you do not agree with. This is great! I welcome new ideas as long as they are honest and well thought out. I put a lot of time into my thoughts, but there must be opinions I have not heard and I welcome them. I just request that we be prepared for the inevitable situation where we must, "agree to disagree." Given an objective and logical argument, I will support an idea even if I was initially opposed to it.